Interactions – Part 2

February 12, 2017 by Scott Del Mastro Leave a Comment

Interactions – Part 2

In Interactions Part 1 I pointed out some ideas on how to become more aware of the number of interaction opportunities you have available to you every day, by tracking them (via a log sheet or memory/gut feel), so that you can move from a “have to” interact with someone to a “get to” interact with someone attitude or perspective. Once you are aware of the opportunities, you can begin the planning stage below.

Planning for Interaction Opportunities

Phase Two – Planning: Now that you know the potential, review the list of opportunities and decide what might be the best way to engage with each. Set interaction goal(s) – number of interactions per day or creating a record of the exact opening phrases that you used to start interactions or improve your physical proximity to potential interactions (sit closer to someone on the bus as an example) or count the number of times you miss the opportunity to look at someone and say hello. There are hundreds of goals you can set. Setting these goals will help you be more prepared for your first interaction with each person or opportunity.

Keep it Simple

Do not over complicate this process. It is easier to just start with something simple. That is, a simple “hello” should do the trick. This can be challenging for some, and not so much for others, but is the easiest way to get the ball rolling. For those that are more comfortable with direct people interactions, push yourself to do more. Engage in a more meaningful conversation or go deeper with the questions that you ask.

Yes, I realize that in the case of the two movies I used as analogies in Interactions – Part 1 the actors got “do-overs” every time that things didn’t go well, but this is part of shedding the skin of doubt and fear, you have to practice and the practice needs to start now not later. And even though you don’t get a “do-over” like they do in the movies every time you make a mistake, you do gain experience for the next go-round.

Don’t place the emphasis on the mistake (that’s a debilitating trap), but rather, understand that fumbling some interactions “is” part of the formula for making this process work. You will fumble, but NOT always, and NOT forever. And like anything, with practice you will find a comfort level, and with a comfort level your confidence level will grow and your interactions will increase and the quality of those interactions will improve and your impact on the world through the people around you will be felt. It will be worth it.

So, get going and start planning how you will be engaging with the people that you meet. Take notes on what challenges you had when going through the goal setting process and determining how you were going to manage any perceived challenges of engagement that you thought might occur, and also, any successes that you discovered going through this phase. Then finally, check out my next post Interactions – Part 3 – Taking Action where I encourage you to take the first planned step that will lead to the next and the next and the next. See you then.

Interactions – Part 1

January 21, 2017 by Scott Del Mastro Leave a Comment

Interactions – Part 1

How we decide to interact with one another determines the quality of our relationships – the better the quality, the stronger the impact. How do you want to change the world? The following are a few ideas of how you can start to change your world and the world around you.

One night during the Christmas holiday my wife and I had an open evening alone at the house. The kids were off doing things on their own so we got to decide what we wanted to do with this unexpected time together. Long story short, we mutually agreed to plop down on the couch and watch a movie – exciting stuff right? After scrolling through the Netflix library, which can be very challenging at times, we settled on a Christmas Holiday movie that you would have found on the Hallmark Channel in Christmas past.

Like the Groundhog Movie

It was titled The 12 Dates of Christmas by Director James Hayman, the basic premise was that of one of my favorite movies – Groundhog Day with Bill Murray. Truth be told, initially we chose the movie because it was my time to sacrifice and take one for the team as my wife usually will watch a more action based movie that I like to watch, so I took the hit and sadly went in pessimistically (something I need to work on). At any rate, I had a bowl full of popcorn, I was sitting on the couch with my beautiful wife and I got to watch a movie – not bad – so I shut my mouth and pressed on.

It started out predictably, but as I surrendered and the movie began to capture my thoughts and heart I realized the premise was exactly like Groundhog Day and I was hooked. If you are unfamiliar with the storyline from Groundhog Day, it is simple. The main character was resigned to repeat the same exact day over and over again until he got the day right. Now, we could have long discussions on what “right” means, but for the purpose of this blog post, right will mean helping others realize that they are not alone and that help, togetherness and community are always right there with the people you come across. The trick is finding a way to break through the cellophane barrier that tends to stand between us and other people. This barrier can present itself through doubt, fear, comfort level, perceived time constraints, laziness, unawareness, etc. All of these types of things can get in the way of a person making a conscious decision to interact.

This conscious decision to interact, for me, was the main point of the two movies. If the main characters did not interact in the right way, they had to do the day over again – until they got it right. However, as the characters character changed the helping verbs “had to” shifted to “got to”. Bam!!!! Don’t miss this point! It is incredibly powerful and the key to shifting our ability to impact our world. Because after the characters in the movie went through the 5 steps of grief/denial (1. Denial and Isolation; 2. Anger; 3. Bargaining; 4. Depression; 5. Acceptance) several times and finally ended on true, not selfish, acceptance, they were able to move to the “got to” option, and started effecting lasting change, not only in their life, but in the lives of others.

Awareness

The first step, in my experience, should be awareness. Shifting your attention to things that you might not have known were there all along. To help in the process I suggest the following Phases…

Phase One – Opportunity Identification: Quantify the number of interaction opportunities that you have in a given week. Become aware of all of the opportunities that you have during a given day and record that number for a week. As you make this a daily goal you will become more aware of potential opportunities you have to affect change in your world if you choose to. There are more opportunities than you realize. Just start to count from the moment your eyes open to the moment they close at night. Count yourself, your significant other, your children, your friends, your taxi driver, your fellow workers, the people at the coffee shop, the drivers in the car next to you, the person sitting next to you on the train, etc. etc. etc. If you already know the potential opportunities, then you should move to the next phases as soon as possible, and get started.

Let’s check-in in my next post, Interactions – Part 2, and start the planning phase so that we can move from awareness to action. See you then.

Stewardship – Sharing God’s Vision of Tithing thru a Community Potluck

December 11, 2016 by Scott Del Mastro 2 Comments

Stewardship

Last Sunday my pastor asked me to speak about Stewardship and as I sometimes do, I waited until the last second and was up bright and early Sunday morning, actually dark and early as the sun had not come up yet, to finalize my thoughts on how to address Stewardship. Well, thankfully the night before, my wife, who is typically a bit more prepared than me, had offered this definition….

“The careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one’s care” – stewardship…“

So, this is where I started. Breaking down the definition into its parts I discovered that I have a strong belief that God has entrusted me with the careful care of my church, and everything about it – the clergy, the congregation, the choir, the actual building, the failing air conditioner, the landscape, and also, ultimately, what’s outside the doors of the church, the world, which of course includes all of you who are reading this. But how can I take care of all of these things and the whole world? But then, it hit me. I realized I can’t, but a pot-luck can…. Let me explain.

The week before I was asked to present a minute for stewardship we had a pot-luck at the church. As I sat in the Choir loft that Sunday, looking out at the congregation I had a feeling of satisfaction. There were so many people in the pews. More than weeks past. So, I was happy to see that, but then as my mind does, it wandered and I started asking questions as to why they were all here, was it a random occurrence, was it the Thanksgiving holiday, was it the food from the potluck, maybe it was because word leaked about about our pastors sermon topic and everyone couldn’t wait to get here. It was probably a combination of all of the above. In any case the pews were filled and I was thankful.

But as I thought more about it, the idea of a potluck just kept presenting itself so I went with it and started, again, with the process of defining my topic. So, what was a pot-luck? Well, by definition a pot-luck is:

“A meal or party to which each of the guests contributes a dish.

Simple, and delicious, right? But after reading that definition I realized something, I realized that God has been inviting me to a pot-luck from the very first time I met him. And since that realization I have started to prepare by thinking about what I am going to bring to the feast.

So, today or tomorrow or the next day and the day after that, I encourage you all to plan a pot-luck. But in this pot-luck, what everyone has to bring is everything they have just like the disciples did in Matthew 14:13-21 where Jesus fed five thousand with five loaves and two fish. How can this be? Well, I suggest it was a potluck and after Jesus blessed the loaves everyone in the crowed brought everything they had to the table and shared and sacrificed in order to satisfy everyone. For, me a clear example of “treat your neighbor as yourself”, the realization and example of hope of what is possible if we all come together under Christ.

Because it will take everything we have to take careful care of what God has entrusted to us.

So, I encourage you to think of stewardship as a pot-luck and give of everything you have been given. But I want to clarify one more point, note that I did not say “give everything you have”, but rather I said “give of everything you have”. The “of” designates a portion of what you have, just like God asks us to do. Give some of your time, give someone a shoulder to cry on or to rest their head, lend someone your ear and just listen to them to make them feel that they have a voice that needs to be heard and that they are valued, open your arms and invite someone in for a hug to make them feel cared for, give a portion of your money for the church to use to help the world and together we will all enjoy the pot-luck that God has invited us to.

Looking Through the Camera Eye – Keep the Fire Burning

October 23, 2016 by Scott Del Mastro 2 Comments

Keep the Fire Burning - www.scottdelmastro.com — Looking Through the Camera Eye – Keep the Fire Bruning – www.scottdelmastro.com

Recently I purchased a new camera to take live action shots of the athletes at my sports academy – tennis, golf, volleyball, soccer and swimming. I made a sizable investment in hopes of capturing the best most clear images for the students. What I did not anticipate was the fun I was going to have taking photographs. It could be said that I am somewhat addicted now.

That is, looking through the camera eye, I can watch life passing right in front of me. Then, when I decide, I can “freeze” moments in time. Capturing that life energy so that I can re-live it later. This experience and process was everything that I was aware of about pictures and picture taking, but never really thought about or grasped fully until I actually started taking the shots through the camera eye piece (as opposed to taking them from the display on my phone).

So, lately I have been experimenting with night photography, I am fascinated with light and it’s impact on my emotional state as it relates to the images I take photos of. Last night it was fire! I have, for a long time now, been enthralled with the open flames of camp fires, as my wife’s parents are avid campers and we have spent many nights aside the fire just relaxing and watching the flames and burnt orange coals waffle with the wind.

And last night I captured a few images of the fire that sparked (pun intended) this post. My camera has about a million settings and I often get lost with all the buttons and options that I have to simply just take a picture. However, sometimes I get lucky and I capture a moment that has just the right aperture priority, shutter speed setting, and focus. And the picture dances! In this case, the flames.

But more than the flames themselves, the black space around the flames is what spoke to me. The size of the flame within the frame compared to the amount of blackness was very small. Figuratively, this made me feel that the flame was desperately small compared to the darkness around me. Did I say “me”? I meant “it”. Or did I? That’s what I mean, photographs make me feel things. I saw myself as the flame or at least the life energy within me. I also felt overwhelmed by the amount of darkness that surrounded the flame. How much I think I have to overcome. I was taken aback from that frozen moment that I was not prepared for nor anticipated.

Then the essence of this blog post hit me – keep the flame burning – as it relates to the purpose of this website – endurance. We must keep our flame going no matter how much darkness surrounds us or how small our flame is compared to it. Initially, I was overwhelmed with doubt and the amount of work that I thought I might have to do to overcome that amount of darkness, but more than that I was amazed by the beauty of the flame and that it was, in fact, burning brightly. More brightly and more powerfully than the darkness that surrounded it. I was the flame, I was burning brightly, I was going to keep burning………

Start Your Day Your Way – Breathe in How You Want to Feel

October 17, 2016 by Scott Del Mastro Leave a Comment

Start Your Day Your Way - www.scottdelmastro.com — Start Your Day Your Way – Breathe In How You Want To Feel – www.scottdelmastro.com

Referring to a day not so long ago, I got up and realized that I was in control of the type of mood I was going to be in that day. For some reason it hit me in a way that simply opened my eyes to the possibility that I had more control than I had before realized. I could decide how I wanted to feel. I could choose what outlook or vantage point I could see or work from at any given time.

I don’t know exactly why that day was so different, only that it could have been a culmination of all my life experiences that had brought me to that exact moment. I was, at that exact time, finally ready to receive that piece of information and then process it into an understanding that was impactful for the way I would like to live and be. Kind of like the expression that I have always tried to share with students that I have worked with over the years, “…when the student is ready, the teacher will appear” – an expression I learned from a good friend and business partner some years ago.

In this case, the teacher was life, and in that moment, it taught me how efficient it’s flow could be. That is, like water, that when running downhill will chose the path of least resistance, it chooses the most efficient path based on it’s environment at the time – no thought, just flow.

Well, I think that the thoughts that fuel cognitive growth are much the same when my internal environment is ready to receive information. So, that morning, when I woke up, it just hit me. I can decide what state of mind I was going to attack the day with. So, I just breathed it in. I chose hope and service. I wanted to be hopeful and I wanted to be of service to the people that I came across that day, because I realized that on many days, I am too stressed or distracted to even think about others, which bothered me, so on this day I wanted to try something different, and I did. And as it turned out, it worked.

That evening, I went back over my day and found that I had, in fact, accomplished what I had set out to do. Not that I had manipulated and consciously planned out every move of the day, but rather that the situations, interactions, etc. that I experienced were lived through the filters of hope and service. This, for me, made all the difference in the world. This was me flowing downhill like water, this was me being a student that was ready to receive. This was me being connected to God, not fighting the path that I believe he has chosen for me, but rather riding the wave of that path that he created for me to ride. And I was riding it effortlessly. How cool was that? It was cool:)

One note that might be important was something that I gleaned from a coworker who is in the field of Mental Performance – Mr. Tim Kremer (The Spirit of Golf), who shared the idea of using the breath to breathe in whatever emotion I chose to feel at a given time, which then put me in control of how I wanted to feel – if it worked? So, I tried it, and well, it worked, as stated above. It was simple, my process was the following:

I brought my focus to my breathing. Simply by saying, “Ok, I am going to focus on my breathing and listening to the air coming in and out a few times”
Then I moved from thinking about the sound of the breath, to feeling of the rising and lowering of my stomach while I was breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.
Then I shifted my focus to thinking about the word that best described the state of mind that I wanted be in that day. In that moment it was “hope” and “service”. I wanted to be hopeful about life and the possibilities that I believe to be out there, and to help people in anyway that I could that day. So theoretically, I breathed in actual hope and service by thinking about those words and their meaning during each inhale.

That’s it. Try it and see what you think. It was helpful for me, maybe it will be for you.
So, have the day that you want to have and start your day, your way!!