Interactions – Part 3

To recap, Part 1 challenged us to take count and be aware of what interaction opportunities we were missing. Then, Part 2 moved us from concept to action by making a plan and then start acting upon it. Noting that both were developed with the intent of helping others realize that they were not alone and that help, togetherness and community are always right there with the people we come across. And finally, Part 3 below hypothesizes that the interactions that we engage in actually might change the way we see the people we interact with and the way they see us helping us all to grow in our ability to relationship and build each other up.

Let’s get started. I want to look at our interactions from the perspective of physiology and how our insides and outsides might be altered based on the interactions we experience. In Part 1 I mentioned a movie that reminded me of Groundhog Day with Bill Murray – The 12 Dates of Christmas by Director James Hayman. In this movie there was a scene that sparked the thought for this post. In it, the main character realized that she had direct influence on the people that she interacted with, in that she could change the direction or state of mind of the people she interacted with based on the intent she had going into the interaction and the words and actions she used within the engagement. Which, I would guess, we have all experienced to some degree through observation after some of our past interactions. That is, if I went into an interaction with a pessimistic attitude, then the person I interacted with was effected differently than if I had gone into the interaction with an optimistic attitude. This seems obvious, right? But I think our attitude and intentions going into an interaction changes us more than we realize. I think it might change us at a molecular level as well, which is another level of growth toward impacting those around us.

For me this can be illustrated by a statement from Dr. Wayne Dyer. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urQPraeeY0w

If this is the case, and we (you and I) do have the capacity to change purposefully, intentionally, and even physiologically, then we really need to consider changing the way in which we look at things and our approach to future interactions. But of course, you have to decide under which umbrella you want to build your interactional intentions – to build up or to tear down. For me, this is best illustrated by a poem written by Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.

Let’s assume for the sake of this post that we chose to “build up”. It is, then, at this point where our journey will begin and we start taking action toward our very next interaction so as not to miss a single opportunity to build up the people we are going to come across next. When we purposefully and actively begin to seek out our next interaction with excitement and shed the skin of doubt, we can start the process of changing the world.

Program Your Day with an Action Statement

Phase Three – Do It: Start with yourself at the very first conscious moment in the morning. Making an “action” statement, based on your goals set in Phase Two, to yourself right when the alarm goes off in the morning. So that the first thing you hear is the action that you are going to take in how you want your day to go. Personally, I have changed the way I speak to myself from the first sound of the alarm in the morning I cannot wait to fill my head with the possibilities of the day. This is not to say that I never have conflicting feelings and emotions right out of the gate, of course I do, I am human, and it has not been easy to train myself to think and speak to myself this way. I have fumbled quite often and fought and am fighting myself on an exhausting number of occasions, but I am determined, as I am sure you will be too, to win the battle and impact the world around me.

After you go through this process or as you are going through this process, let me know what things you learned, what challenges you faced and what fumbles you had so that others will know that they are not alone in their fumbling and that if we all keep fumbling and succeeding we will make the world a better place.

Until we meet again…..build up, don’t tear down.